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27 Hanukkah Tweets

Lisa Beth Johnson
Listening to a country music station, pretending all the songs are about Hanukkah.

Michelle Wolf ‏@michelleisawolf
I’ll be honest with you, I don’t know anything about Hanukkah, but with all those candles, it seems pretty sexy.

Rob Kutner
Dora The Menorah #ThanksgivukkahParadeFloats

Sam Grittner
if anyone wants to celebrate a festival of lights I’m going to a jewish rave right now

Tom Ceraulo
Quick, what has more spellings, Hanukkah or Gaddafi?

Frank Lesser
If you’re a procrastinator, just light 108 candles on the last night of Hanukkah.

Billy Eichner
Happy Hanukkah to half of Drake!

Emily Donahue
My 5-year-old cousin asked “why do we only get Hanukkah for 8 days and Christmas gets all the days from Halloween to New Year’s?”

Scott Bateman
Tonight at sunset, Hanukkah begins. Also: Chanukah, Hockeymom, Honkycat, ComicCon, Cthulhuthon, and ChakaKhan.

Matt Goldich
After this year, the next time Chanukah and Thanksgiving will coincide is the year 76942. Your mother wants to know if you’re coming home.

Damien Fahey
Every workplace Hanukkah display screams, “We legally had to do this.”

Aaron Glaser
Oh, so my drunken comments haven’t just ruined Thanksgiving, they also ruined Hanukkah.

Aaron Glaser
“HanuCAW” – Jewish Crow

Aaron Glaser
Every store I went to was sold out of Hanukkah Ham.

Hank Thompson
Hanukkah and Thanksgiving grip an enchanted skull at the same time, causing a hilarious holiday switch in ˝Vice Versa 2: Let’s Get Chewish˝.

Amir Blumenfeld
Because of its position on the ˝Prayer vs. Jelly Donut˝ matrix, Hanukkah is a great holiday for those eager to trick others into converting!

Julie Klausner
Is Twitter the right place to wish Julian Schnabel a Happy Hannukah?

Adam Winkler
Since #scotus is going to rule corporations have relig rights, I’m seeking advice on which corps to invite over for 1st night of hannukah.

Louis Virtel
I’m thankful there’s no Adam Sandler movie about a Hanukkah/Thanksgiving crossover.

Benari Poulten
Chappy Chanukah! Thappy Thanksgiving! Merry Thanksgivikah!

apparently my hannukah list is “morbid and undoable” pic.twitter.com/nokV1dLPzM 

Nathan Rabin ‏@nathanrabin
I mean, nobody needs to declare war on Hannukah cause Hannukah has already lost. It’s the Falkland Islands of Jewish holidays.

Bill Prady ‏@billprady
Everybody’s talking about Hannukah falling during Thanksgiving, but I’ve heard precious little about the rare Emmys during Sukkot.

John Fugelsang ‏@JohnFugelsang
In a post-Gadaffi world, Hannukah is the only thing that gets to have 4 legal spellings.

Alan Zweibel
Standing here in Times Square waiting for the Chanukah candles to drop at midnight. So excited!

Michelle Wolf
It’s the night before Hanukkah and all through the house there was a creature stirring, it’s your mom. She’s both cold and hot.

sam grittner
If you attach a glove to every branch of a Menorah you still can’t hi-five an octopus in one fell swoop.

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