Archive | December 2013

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28 Ornaments on My Tree, in Alphabetical Order

25 Christmas Tweets

John Fugelsang This Dec, the GOP demanded a) Tax cuts for the wealthiest b) Less benefits for the needy c) Keep Christ in Christmas. Jess Dweck Shit, I forgot to write “Happy Birthday” on Jesus’ Facebook page. Sam Grittner Freebasing oxy with a gardener named Jesus in a Pottery Barn. #blessed Jim Hamilton I saw […]

24 Sharknado Tweets

My seasonal gift to you! I celebrated Christmas Eve by watching Sharknado with my brother, sister, and daughter. It was the best; I highly recommend this new tradition to all. And now, to the mockery. Patton Oswalt @pattonoswalt Just got a call from the 2nd A.D. on the movie I’m filming. Call time canceled tomorrow. […]

12.23: On Unripeness

“Artists who are content merely to hone their gifts eventually come to little,” says the Belgian writer Simon Leys. “The ones who truly leave their mark have the strength and the courage to explore and exploit their shortcomings.” I’d like to borrow that wisdom and provide it for you to use in 2014, Aquarius. Even […]

22nd of 101 Ruinations

In a book called [you] Ruined It for Everyone!: 101 People Who Screwed Things Up for the Rest of Us, #22 was devoted to the person who invented vacuum-sealed plastic clamshell packaging. You know the stuff—it’s the hard casing you have to conquer to reach the toy or SD card or other consumer good you so desire. […]

12.21: The Best Early Christmas Gift

Today we scored a DVD of Sharknado at a White Elephant party. We went directly to the grocery store for popcorn and candy and then home to immerse ourselves in the Sharknado experience. I had heard about all the insanity involved, but witnessing it in person makes all the difference. This movie is so far […]

12.20: Celebrating 100 Years of the Sinful, Futile Crossword Puzzles

Arthur Wynne (a Brit, actually) invented the contemporary American crossword puzzle; it appeared in the New York World on 12.21.1913 and became wildly popular. By the 1920s, folks had become so obsessed with solving the puzzles that appeared in more and more newspapers that workplace productivity actually declined. So the inventor of computer Solitaire can […]