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Day 3: Whole30 (starring the Walkmen)

Mandatory Music: enjoy this stellar Walkmen track (“Angela Surf City”) while you read. Go on, press the button:

In today’s Mandatory Music, the Walkmen (just the leader singer really, so the Walkman?) are mourning the loss of the titular Angela, a withholding ex-girlfriend (“Mine is yours/yours is yours/Life goes on, life goes on all around you”), although her selfishness has become evident in retrospect. Still, he craves her company: “I used to see the signs/Now I dream of the time/I was holding onto you/For a lack of anything to do.” For a lack of anything to do? That doesn’t sound like true love or even a reasonable basis for a relationship on his end anyway. So why is this song here? Because Angela is microwave popcorn and I am the lead singer of the Walkmen.*

You see, it’s Day 3, and the contemplation of compromises has begun.  “W30 says no corn, but I’ve never had a problem with corn, so…” And it’s true, I have no discernible health problems with corn or its most enchanting incarnation, microwave popcorn (although the internet tells me it is Satan in a bag), but if I give in on that point, I’ll give in on something else (“it’s just one wee muffin” and so forth). However, while microwave popcorn and other plan-prohibited foods might seem as enticing as the otherwise difficult Angela, ultimately I need to find something better to do than ingest binge-triggering foods, of which popcorn is one.

True, I am flaunting the program by failing to taper off caffeine ahead of time, but that addiction resides in a separate spot in my head, so I’m fighting that on a different schedule. Also, I had only 1 cup of coffee and 1 cup of black tea rather than 2 cups of coffee this AM, so I’m winning so far.

True fact: I’ve been quitting caffeine my entire adult life, just like a true addict, although I have good reason to quit [bonus: that there links to a shirtless Jonny Lee Miller].

One primary goal for this month is to support healthy sleep by enforcing a lights-out-at-10PM policy, yet last night I was up till midnight because I didn’t feel sleepy yet. This morning during meditation it occurred to me that if I turn off the light at 10 no matter what, I’ll train myself to be sleepy in response. I’ve also discovered today that Spotify has comedy albums on it, so I can just listen to routines I already know pretty well while I drift off to sleep. Win!


*If you think this analogy is far too tortured and inapt, you are correct. But what a great song, right? Aren’t you glad you listened to it?

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